Eve Vel

Shalom, mother*******!

Introducing Boston's (and a town city near you, see tour dates) wildest up and coming chef/escort double threat! Am I Eve Vel? Yes, I ******* am* and I can't wait to help bring your hottest dreams to life. I'm all about facilitating self-actualization and over all better living through harlotry**. Live out the stories you've been too afraid to tell with the Magic Pixie Nightmare Girl of your dream character growth arc! Get your hierarchy of needs met by getting in touch with your inner main character and joining me on an adventure you'll be telling stories about to whoever you dare.

With me the mundane becomes the Magical, you'll catch a contact high from my intoxicating aura while you enjoy my mischievous smiles and infectious laughter. You’ll find it effortless to connect with me and open up about your darkest, filthiest, wildest desires; I’m a natural enabler. I'm also a captivating conversationalist. Whether you want to talk classic Russian literature, contemporary sci-fi, or teach me something entirely new, I’m your girl. Beyond reading, harlotry, and chefery, I enjoy a broad range of activities including but not limited to live music, Magic: the Gathering (you won't beat me, but please do try) and am an avid amateur knife thrower.

I genuinely love learning so don't be shy about teaching me a lesson. Teach me your love languages and I'll return the favor. I'm sensual, loud, a massive brat, and take as much pleasure in giving pleasure (or pain if that's what you're into) as I do receiving it. Which in both cases, is a lot.

Enjoy my razor sharp wit while I use my razor sharp knives to cook a world class meal for two (or more if you've got friends to bring to the party winky face) while I sling one-liners like that one woman in that one tv show/movie/book you've always had a crush on. Yeah, that one. My standards in the kitchen are just as high as the ones I hold myself to as a companion; expect nothing less than a rich, decadent, expertly executed experience. Let your server know about any allergies or dietary restrictions when placing your order. Consuming raw or undercooked meats, poultry, seafood, shellfish, or eggs may increase your risk of foodborne illness, especially if you have certain medical conditions. I am not responsible for blah blah undercooked meat and seafood blah legal text here.

*Kill 'Em All is the only good Metallica album (fight me) but I will admit their rendition of Am I Evil is chef's kiss

**harlottry as defined by Merriam Webster
noun
har·​lot·​ry ˈhär-lə-trē 
plural: harlotries
archaic : an immoral woman
He sups tonight with a harlotry …
—William Shakespeare
My lawyer said to add that one. That's why she makes the big bucks. Yes I copy and pasted that. You're welcome.

PS. If you connected with me on Seeking Arrangements, it's double for you now. Except you. Yes, you, the One Good Man I met on there. You know who you are. Hit me up.